Echoes of Absence (S1.EP7)

Lub-dub sound of the heartbeat is echoing in my ears as a 8D audio song. And it increases with the decreasing distance between Dhadak.

And my mind is preparing myself in every possible way like calculating the realities of what could happen like Dr. Strange. But I don’t know what happens with me, I am just mesmerized or kind of lost in her when she is around. My neurons crisscrossed or maybe electrical impulses went wrong, I don’t know. But my brain functions differently when she is in front of my sight. And I feel different and special. Maybe you can call it the “Love Effect” but I call it “The Dhadak Effect”. Well! It’s true. When she is around the world seems to act differently, it becomes more beautiful.

I’m scared. But my insane heart is nervously excited to be with her. And I know the volcano is about to burst out, but still gathering all my strength I stand still in front of her. She looks at me and I can clearly see the fire in her oceanly eyes, well you can say it’s an ocean of fire or fire whirl in the ocean. I smile bit weirder and waves my hand and said “Hi ….”. She stands up and I see a very beautiful hand coming towards my left cheek with full acceleration to give an experience of the force. F=m.a. Well! That’s how it works. And before I could complete the magical word “Sorry” which is half stuck in my throat, she balanced my right cheek and brings equilibrium. Then she half punches my stomach and at that time I realized I’m being in love with a ninja. I replied putting a hand in my stomach “I deserve that”. Boom! Then I got another one. “Well! I kind of deserve that too.”

“No! You deserve more than that.” Her red shaded lips uttered.

Then I grab her hands and said very gently “Dhadak! My little ninja, I’m really sorry. Please! Listen to me.”

“No! You always do that.” She said throwing my hands away.

Well! It is this bad. “Dhadak! Let me clarify. Yaar” I said.

“I’ll not listen to any of your excuses. We were supposed to meet at the coffee center in the morning but you didn’t show up. You just replied “Good morning” then you went vanish for the whole day. I know you love your work and you’re very passionate about it and I love that. But I love you too. Only I need your time, a few minutes of you will be enough for me.” She said in a very sad tone.

And this makes me sad and I feel guilty. I feel like a very bad person. You know, it hurts when you see your loved ones in pain. And it breaks you when you become the reason for their tears. I love her the most and yet I made her cry. I won’t be able to forgive myself for what I have done.

(Your Smile is still a blessing for me ....)

“I’m truly sorry. Dhadak! I love you ….” I said with wet eyes.

“Why are you crying?” She said in anger.

“Sorry ….” I said looking down.

“What sorry? Why sorry? Why do you do that kind of stuff for which you have to be sorry?" She slightly raises her voice.

I kept quiet and look at her face. And there is a hair stick with her lower lip, it's probably because of her thick red lipstick (Avenue). It is moving like a string of a guitar, I shouldn't point that out at least not in this hour but I did. I said, "there is hair in your mouth".

She gives me an angry look and said "you want more slap because you deserve at least a thousand more slaps. Idiot!”

"Sorry ...." 

"Yeah! Keep saying that." She replied and sit on that bench covering her face with her hands.

And after a pause, she said “I think I have to order a walky-talky."

I slowly sit beside her and said, “It won’t work. Those have very specific ranges up to which we can communicate.”

"Jaan!!!! Ahh!!!! Please! Shut up! Otherwise, I’ll kill you.” She said with frustration.

"Dhadak! Please! Forgive me. This won't happen ever again. I promise." I said.

Then she looks at me and I said "please ....". 

"Stop making puppy faces and I wish you could change this habit but I knew, this isn't possible. Anyway, I will figure something out for this later. But you better don't do this again."

"And .... Sorry! Does that hurt?" She concerned.

I nod my head side-wise.

"It looks red. Sorry!" She said.

"I hit you bit harder. Sorry! But you deserve it." 

"Sorry" she said very softly with those deep black eyes.

"I LOVE YOU ...." I said.

She smiled. And Finally, I got blessed. I have been dying just to see her smile. And then she said, "that's why I'm here otherwise I won't be waiting for you in this park for two hours." 

"And I love you too. You are my JAAN (life)."

To be continued ....

Echoes of Absence (S1.EP6)

Erasing the eternal silence of the night and dimming the spread twinkling dots, a red circle rises from the horizon with the chirping sound of birds along with the vroom sound of vehicles. Well! I'm not a morning person but I've seen this red spot rising many times. I don't know what's different? But today the sun looks brighter, the skies look bigger and clear, the air becomes fresher and more energetic as if the oxygen level has increased in the atmosphere. And I'm getting a very weird feeling as if this world is trying to say something. And strangely this little piece of blood-pumping flesh is up to something, it's cooking something hot and spicy in there. I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic, also getting a bit scared to taste the day.

But why there is a smile glued on my face? Why are my eyes sparkling? And why am I humming a song? What kind of feeling is this? Is this called the happiness that I sense inside my heart? Or it's just Dhadak. What is it? But It feels Awesome and great, so let's resume the day with this. 

At work, 

"Dude! What's the matter? You are shining like a penny today. And what's about this unusual smile?" Kabir said. (One of my colleagues at work and a nice friend of mine)

I don't know man. It's the weather or just the coffee. (I said raising my coffee cup)

"Yeah! It's hot, don't let your tongue burn." (Kabir quoted)

We give each other a look as if we are challenging each other. Then he said, "Never lose faith, this world is full of unpredictable surprises". But it sounds more like a warning to me. 

What do you mean? And what the hell you are talking about? (I said)

"Nothing, just giving you some free advice." (He said gently)

Thank you but I don't need any. Currently, I'm living the best phase of my life. If anyone dares to go toe-to-toe with me on my best day, he really wanna have to taste some good coffee. I said this bit louder but I didn't realize it was loud and I emphasized the phrase "on my best day" a bit louder than usual. Well! It may sound like my arrogance but it's my confidence or maybe overconfidence. And to be honest, I don't care actually.

"Good luck." (Kabir replied)

Ok, let's make some money. I re-replied.

(This Heart still beats You ....)

In the evening,

While leaving the office I checked my phone. "Mr. Jaan. Are you on this planet or not?" It was written on the top of the chatbox of My Dhadak in WhatsApp. Yeah, I saved her name as My Dhadak. I know it's odd to address someone as ours. Well, we are in a relationship and that's okay. And that's not the thing we should focus on.

The intensity of the text can be assumed by the expression of my face which turns happy to sad then to worry and then tense. I think it's enough to describe the current mood of miss Dhadak. Well! I agree it's my fault. And I didn't reply to those texts because I haven't seen those till now. It was 58 texts and 19 missed calls. I know I'm doomed but it isn't my fault completely. I'm very bad at Mobile Phones. So without making her angrier, I call her. And with response to that, she cut the call in the first ring. Well! It's that bad. And have you heard the word "self-motivated"? Well, that will fail in this case. But my self-motivating skill is way more than normal. So I called her again. And the result is the same as the previous one.  Then I called her again, and again, and again. And after about 8 calls, she finally picked up and said "Nice landing on earth. I'm glad you returned safely. Now meet me at the park near your office.", then she cut the call without letting me utter a single word. Well! I'm not scared but frightened. I can imagine the whole scenario, what's gonna happen with me in a few minutes. God! Please, save me from her wrath.

She is sitting on a beach wearing a beautiful green and white dress, I don't know what's the actual color but it looks green. I walk towards her and stand in front of her. And I prepared myself to be surrendered.

To be continued ....

Echoes of Absence (S1.EP5)

Oscillating heartbeat, restlessness eyes, and this lunatic suspicious heart all are searching for redemption in the apocalypse. And this heart is behaving as one of the highly unstable elements like uranium 235, doing its nuclear fission reaction to bring its own Apocalypse. That disquietness is crawling all over the body, hypothesizing the blissful sight of salvation by walking over the edge of a sharp knife. 

This chaotic dilemma stopped when my eyes found it's own sparkle the moment, my heart beacons its beat. And with her each approaching footstep, my heart is skipping its beat correspondingly. My legs freeze there, my eyeballs locked at her. She is looking stunningly beautiful in that black dress, I have never seen her like that before and that's enough to faint me out. But ....

Before I could think or say anything, a pair of very warm and fluffy arms squeezed my cold body. My brain collapses, my heart beats fast and I'm completely blackout for a few seconds. It takes a few seconds more to hold my nerves, and before that my arms auto reflect and enclose her warm body tightly against mine. As if a breeze from heaven wrapped up and resided around me. It's like a blessing got approved, my soul strays and met in the infinite light. My lifeless body lit with cherishing joys as if it finds peace. The whole universe paused there at that very moment. The entire space shrinks in between those two arms, the decibel decreases to zero. My soul is scented by the fragrance of her penetrating the jacket and my skin. And this becomes the most blissful moment of my life.

(Missed Your Blessing)

After these beautiful two minutes of hug, which is the most incredibly amazing incident ever happened in my life and I don't want it to be ended. Why does all the good stuff end very soon? Then we both gaze at each other and smiled.

"You are missing from me." We said at the same time.

Since when you started to be filmy. (I laughed)

"Shut up. I'm very hungry, let's go." She crossed my arms in hers and we started walking.

At the restaurant, 

Slow down, it's not going anywhere. Nobody gonna take it from you.

I'm very hungry.

Well, I can see that. You are such a disgusting eater and nobody ever gonna take a piece of your food.

But you just ate that.

(I smiled.)

Stay away from my food. (Raised her eyebrows)

Ok. Eat, I'm going to the washroom.

I was about to push the washroom door, Dhadak called me loudly "Jaan ....". And I responded with " Yes! Dhadak". Everybody stared at my face, including that old grandpa and that fatherly mustached man. It becomes a bit uncomfortable situation in that loving environment of the restaurant. Then Dhadak said "Love ....", because I think she also finds it awkward. But I can see the devils inside that man's eyes, as his eyes are speaking "You are dead. boy!". "She is not your girl. Uncle! And I'm not a terrorist.", I said to myself. Then I controlled my giggle and emotion with a dead expression and gradually walk back to Dhadak. She said, "Give me your phone then go". I put my phone on the table then leave. 

When I came back, I see Dhadak is typing something on my phone.

What are you doing with my phone? And how did you unlock it?

Nothing, and it was a very weak password as expected. (Give my phone back with a smile)

Ok! In that case, give me your hand. 

Why?

Just give it to me.

She was sitting opposite side of mine, so she switches and seated herself side to me. Then she gives her hand in mine. I hold her hand, it is very soft as cotton candy, my heart melts. Then I unlock my phone with the password "2412" (24th December - Dhadak's Birthday) then I open my phone settings and added her right hand's index finger's fingerprint as a password. She gazes into my eyes smiling and holds my hand tighter and after two minutes of pause she said, "are you willing to stay here?". I just nod my head downwards. "Shut up, idiot." she said this with a lovingly beautiful expression on her pretty face.

(Keep My Heart Safe)

8:50 pm, outside the restaurant.

Walking on the street warming up each other's hands.

Oye, I have something to give you. 

I just forgot that completely, I thought it to give you earlier at the airport but missed that portion. I hope it's still fine and put my hand in the inner pocket of my jacket and pull out a red rose. And it isn't looking the same while I bought it but still, it doesn't that dried.

Sorry, it was beautiful and fresh. (Embraced)

No, it's totally fine. It looks perfect. 

No, it was. (said with a bit sad face)

I told you na .... It's fine. Now give it to me properly. 

So, I went on my knees on the street and look into her eyes and said, "Dhadak, I am willing to lose all my blessings and happiness, just only to see you happy. Even after losing all my blessings and happiness which is written in my fate, if I ever get only one blessing then I will sacrifice that too into your fate. You are the happiness of my soul, you are the blessing to this little heart of mine. And I can't live without that. Every cell of my body loves you, every nucleus of an atom of my cell needs you. You are the electrons in my valence shell to give me a stable configuration. And I love you .... And I always will. Please, accept this rose as a symbol of my love."

Tears rolled down from her oceanly dark eyes, as a wave touches the shore. She nods her head downwards and receives my heart. She jumps into my arms and melts down there. 

Peace ❤️ .... (My soul uttered)

To be continued ....

Echoes of Absence (S1.EP4)

Drowning in the space and blossoms in the ocean, yet miles away from the isle. Sauntering in a desert heading towards the berg, consumed by the flames to break down the mountain. Tortured by the halted time in presence of the hopeful lanterns which hover in the skies. Perishing eyes that thrive to be puzzled in those beautiful hypnotic eyes. Time! .... Time is slowing down like a feather reaching the turf. Waiting for the drawn as a forfeited person who vanquishes in the eternal darkness for centuries. My heart is skipping down the beats for the love to arrive, fighting with the ruthless night. 

It's 3.00 am and with each moving needle of the clock, my tolerance is going bitter and bitter. The urge to greet her, carving me to death. Just one glance of her can make my soulless body shine, just only one peek of her life-giving face can peace my chaotic flaming heart, the only glimpse can bring truce between my uncertain heart and abandoned spirit. Where are you? I have been waiting for you for an eternity.

"Sleep! Dude. Her flight will land at 7.00 pm and you live 30 minutes away from the airport. So, chill and sleep. And let me sleep. Please! And she hasn't been boarded yet, her flight is at 4.00 pm. So you better not disturb me. Now go and sleep, idiot."

Sorry, man. But I don't feel like sleeping, how can I sleep? After all, she is coming all the way here for me.

"Hate to break your heart. But she is arriving here for her work purpose, not for you. Okay. So don't think that much." 

Ouch! 

"You better focus on your today's presentation, which is 6 hours from now."

You are such a spoiler, and thanks for the remainder. Come on, buddy look outside of the window, such a beautiful moonlight has spread out.

"I have seen better." 

Fine! Die alone.

(Voice snatched by Time)

What a wonderful day It's been so far. I found an amazing restaurant, got a super discount on ASUS TUF Gaming F15 core i5 10th generation(8GB/512GB SSD/ Windows 10 Home/ 4GB Graphics/ NVIDA GeForce GTX 1650 Ti/144Hz) Gaming Laptop (15.6 inches, Black Plastic, 2.3 KG, With Ms Office) and the presentation. Nailed it! It went incredibly awesome. I am so happy now.

"Congratulations! For your new laptop. For which you have to pay EMI of 11,000 per month for 6 months, from your 20,000 salaries. (sarcasm) Which was incredibly unnecessary. Because you are broke."

Yeah, I thought that too for a second. Then boom! I bought it. And I'm feeling dizzy now.

"I'm not surprised, people like you spend 3 thousand in 3 days. Now you have to survive a month with 9,000. Oops! sorry, 4 thousand cause you have a rent to give. And the best part is, you have to do it for like 6 months only. (Sarcasm)" 

God! I'm broke. And I felt dizzy because I haven't slept. Okay. 

"Is that my fault?" 

Did I say so?

"And by the way, Mr. Panic. It's 6.00 pm."

What!!!! No!!! No!!! No!!! This can't be happening, I haven't dressed well. Where is that jacket? And the shoes? Tie??? 

"Are you going for an interview? Chill out! Bro, you still got one hour." 

I have to take a shower now.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go!!!!"

Time - 6.30 pm, water is too cold! 

"30 minutes left."

Why are you panicking? You are just making me nervous.

"Hurry up! Don't ruin your airport scene."

I thought you hate love stories. (Wearing clothes)

"I still do. Faster! Man!"

Done! Done! Oops, the cell phone. Almost forget it. And the helmet. (Closed the door)

Time - 7.10 pm, (10 km away from the airport)

(Stalk in the traffic)

That's why everybody hates traffic, move!!!! Guys!!! Move!!!

Hey! Hero! Slow down, it's a red light. (Random guy said)

I haven't moved a muscle yet. 

"You should start running. (Zero uttered)"

Seriously, I'm just thinking about it. 

"No! You idiot. Call her and tell, you'll be late."

I can't.

"Why??"

Because she said, not to call her until I meet her.

"What??? What are you guys??? I thought she is a grown-up." 

What do you mean? I'm not a grown-up.

"Shut up, and sneak through the ...."

Window. (I completed this quote)(It's a dialogue from the movie CARS 3)

Time - 7.45 pm

I parked my bike and run towards the arrival terminals. 

To be continued ....

Echoes of Absence (S1.EP3)

Space is melting down into pearls from the precious heaven adorning the street, leading by sparkling garlands of glitter, and light the realm which huddling in the rainbow for a beauty to blaze in the darkness. The moment when those petals move and uttered, "I'm yours". The entire universe froze for eternity except for my insane heart, which runs thousands of miles, leaving my cold body in the middle of a tornado.

Love. Yeah! It's a small word but binds the whole universe together. They say love has something special in it, it feels like magic floating in the atmosphere. It makes us feel special, maybe for one person. But more importantly, we believe. We all are special and unique, have different talents, goals, and we all are chasing them to achieve.

But I do believe that Love itself is a special case. It makes us feel precious, it isn't an illusionistic art to make us behave like fools. It gives us the will to acknowledge the intuition to hold on to hope. It makes us believe in ourselves more, what we can be capable of. It boosts our self-love to heights. It shapes our personality and attitude too. It makes us a believer. Love makes us involved in such a way, that we didn't know we can.

"Well, that's a hell of an explanation. She just said, "I'm yours". (Zero's sarcasm)" 

Missed you, buddy! 

"Naah! I'm not interested in your story, spare me. Please!"

That's why I hate you.

(Losing self in the darkness)

"But I love you .... You are the apple of my eyes. (Cringe smile) And I have a short story too. Dear love, the lord of destruction please fill my heart with undying emptiness, stem my stiffed heart with unbearable pain, roast my heart in depression with a bit of sadness as a cheer on top. Murder me in that way, even death be terrified of dying. Garnish my Paradise in the blood born out darkness and left me to suffer in rage and anguish. (Zero smiles)"

Thanks for your deadly story. I appreciate it and acknowledge it. Thank you so much. (Sarcasm) 

"I'm yours". Oh, this tiny sentence creates butterflies in my stomach. And I'm flying right now without the wings. And there is a smile that sticks on my face for how long God knows. My physical body is here, but my soul and my heart rushed towards her and reside with her, and becomes hers forever. And maybe those are hers more than mine. Am I losing my mind? 

"Do you have a mind? I don't think so. (Zero's typical sarcasm)"

I thought you are not interested in my love story. The Lord of Knights... In darkness. (Sarcasm)

"Yeah! Yeah! And by the way, your phone is ringing."

It's my Dhadak. "Hi .... "

Finally, you pick up the call. Where have you been? I've been trying your phone for hours now. Are you okay?" (An ear melting voice said hurriedly)

Sorry! I have no idea, it was ringing. I just saw now it's glowing.

Again, seriously!!!

Sorry( I said softly, barely anyone could hear)

It's not okay. Anyway, what are you doing?

Nothing interesting, except feeling yourness in me.

Oh! Please! Don't. And if you're missing me that much then why don't you call me?

Trust me! If that's the case, I won't miss a single chance to be with you. I wish I could see you 24/7.

Something can't change. You are just a filmy. And I am madly in love with you. And your wish is granted, I'm coming to your city for 2 weeks.

Seriously!!! (Went speechless)

I knew it, you will become voiceless as expected.

(After a pause) Can't wait to see you.

To be continued ....

Echoes of Absence (S1.EP2)

Surrounding is reaping in the space, everything is getting hazy and I am continuously falling into the void. It seems like a mirage but It's a whirlpool in the ocean which I am dragged into, or I willingly drive in that eddy-deep eyes that loved. 

"Wait! What? You are talking about her eyes. I nearly thought you might be doing drugs because it's a sunny day. You can see through and through clearly without a glimpse."

Will you please shut up? I haven't finished yet. You are so an anti-romantic person, you broke all the rhythm. Now, I have to start again.

"Okay, go ahead. Keep boring. I am out of it, on a mute now."

Yeah! It will be better that way and you are the one who was born by boredom, so piss off. So! Where am I?

"How can I tell? I'm on mute now."

Shut up!!!!!

Let's just ignore him as we did in the previous episode. So, her eyes (awkward silence).

"They are waiting. You were into her eyes. Muted! (Zero's signature sarcasm)"

(Silent continues) Ahh!!! (Clearing throat) You know, the heart is something more than just pumping blood. It pumps purity, dignity, worship, honor, and love too. Above all these, love makes you a bit fragile and powerful at the same time. It pushes you to the edge, just to disclose grey in between black and white. But before that, it offers you by its eternity, unconditionality, and innocence which are hard from escaping. Because it is proud of its illusion tricks to rule your heart without showing the darkest side of the moon.

So her eyes, wow!!!! That killing sensation. It is like a thinly unbroken able thread that is wrapping my soul unhurriedly and scooping me into the space. Sorry! It's not my fault it's her smoky drugged eyes fault which always hypnotizes me to fall for her even more hard than the last drive. And It's not only her eyes but also her lips. Her lips are so incredibly disturbing, it snatches all the concentrate off from her words. And the voice, let's not talk about that. That doesn't imply it's hard to depict. Her voice is the softly sweetest mint flavor with extra chocolate and extra caramelized voice in the world. Well! It's too much. But that's how my Dhadak is, incredibly beautifully gorgeously stunningly extraordinary in the universe. 

"Are you done? Now, please! Focus on her words. It's going worse, solve it. (Zero's concerned)"

(Flamed in your love)

Jaan!!!! Where are you getting lost in the middle of the conversation? What are you thinking? Are you with me or not? 

I'm always with you. And sorry, I got lost in your damn drugged eyes as always. What should I do? I am seeing you after a very long three days, it's probably the longest 72 hours of my entire life. So what do you expect? 

Hmm. You better be lost in my eyes only, not others. And that will be better for your health and teeth. Or you can see my nails, I am very much capable of scratching your eyes (Raising eyebrows).

Don't need to threaten me. What should I do with those eyes? I will rather pluck my eyes off if you won't dwell in those. Till my last breath, you will be the star of my eyes. 

God! This boy is making me emotional. You are such a filmy. I wonder how I fell in love with you (Her eyes filled with dolphins). Don't you dare to try these lines again? You are such a fictional character, it's hard to accept this fictional character in reality. You are so different, do you know that? 

I am not a fictional character, this is just me and this is my reality. It's what I feel, maybe you find it different but it's the way I exist. 

"It melt my heart for a bit. But Buddy doesn't expect love from others. (Zero quoted)"

She holds my hands with her warm softly cottoned hands and slowly lain forward. And left a red lipstick mark on my cheek. It feels like rose petals squeezing my cheek in the chilly wintry night of 21st December although it is May. My soul just froze there at that moment. The fragrance of her stemmed into my body, my heart enchanted "My Dhadak ❤️". 

After two minutes of eternal silence in that magical wonderland, love petal utters in that sparkling breeze.

Isn't it late? We should be going? 

I just nod my head.

To be continued ....