Echoes of Absence (S1.EP12)

Day! .... Night! .... I'm getting unable to differentiate between them, all are replenished with darkness. I don't know what just happened, but I lost my magic. This heart isn't feeling well, it's slowly drowning. And I'm feeling very weak, anxious, and fearful all the time. I sense sadness and hollowness inside my tired soul. The tolerance from pain is outperforming, and I'm afraid that it might break down.

 

In these past couple of months, I have called her like three thousand times. Yeah! She picked up, thrice. And each time she told me, not to call her again. So I can't call her anymore because she blocked me from everywhere, like from everywhere. Instagram, WhatsApp, even Google pay and Phone pay. Seems like I have been blocked and erased from her heart and life as well, in months. Yeah! She is the same person who told me, I've hypnotic eyes. Now I don't think, she wants to see me, probably hates me.

I'm dying here without her and why this isn't affecting her. Why I'm the only one who is in pain? What kind of love is this, if she doesn't care about me? And what kind of love does she have, if she is completely fine by losing me? Oh! Now I got it, what does "take care of yourself" mean? It means she won't be doing it any longer. Does it that easy to unlove someone? Does it even possible? Then why I'm incapable of doing it, do I have a defect or some kind of disease? Or we are just liars.

(I will always choose you over myself) 

11:45 PM,

"Aren't you late for home? Or you make this office your house." Kabir said. (My colleague)

"No! I'm leaving. Just have some minor work to do. You carry on." I replied.

"Okay!"

"Hey! Man, are you okay?" He asked.

"Totally!" I quoted.

"Well! You don't seem like." He replied.

"No! It's just the work pressure, everything is fine." I smiled.

"Alright! Goodnight then. See you tomorrow." He greeted and leave.

"Same to you." I replied.

"You are quite good at lying, I'm impressed." Zero said.

"Well! This distraction game isn't working for me at all. It sucks." I said.

"I understand." Zero replied.

It feels like my world is shrinking in the darkness and I'm feeling helpless. Why I'm inadequate to figure out where is the problem? It's just the love that is gone from my life, and everything is there at their respective places. But still why I'm not happy? Why I'm suffering? Why there is only pain left everywhere?

There were so many beautiful memories created by us, but now those memories are hunting me down. It's been ninety-six days, I haven't seen her. But it feels like an eternity. And sometimes, it drives me crazy. I work nonstop for nights and days, just to get over it. But the result is always disappointing. And sometimes, it breaches its boundary. I behave like a drug addict.

I just want to see her so badly, I want to hear her mesmerizing voice, I want to feel her unforgettable touch, I want to smell her hypnotic odor, I just want her to be mine forever. I love her. But what to do? It needs two wings to fly.

Well! The basic difference, which is the similarity between me and her is that "we both chose herself over me."

"Your phone is flashing." Zero said. It is displaying "My Dhadak ❤️✨" on the screen. Am I dreaming? Or am I just getting a call from her? I picked up immediately and hear a voice saying "Jaan! I ....".

To be continued ....

Dhadak That Left ❤️💕 ....

Echoes of Absence (S1.EP11)

The noise of the traffic, the chaos of the people, the annoying horns of vehicles gradually increase to unbearable. Then it turns into a long beep sound that blocks them out and that too vanishes into the void making me hear absolutely nothing, a complete silence. 

And the next thing I remember is that I found myself standing at the edge of that bridge. Yeah! That bridge(Neil's bridge). Just one more step then it's all over. I look back towards the city, it's glowing under the sparkling stars which makes my sights hazy. Then I look down the bridge, the waves are flickering in that black water making it looks deeper and attractive as if it's beckoning me to coalesce within. Don't worry, I'm not gonna jump. I lose but am not done yet.

(You knew I .... But still)

But it's just that, yesterday I was so happy and my life was so beautiful and amazing that I felt like flying and now, I feel like dying. How fast these dice rolled and takes away everything from me. It's not that I didn't have a life before without her. But it's kind of feels like I have nothing left in me. Without her, I was just living. But with her, I felt alive. And now that she is gone, my life just turned upside down in just a fraction of a second. She knew I can't live without her, she knew I need her more she needs me, she knew I .... But still, she left because she knew the pain of love. So she quits on me.

And I don't want to cry, but my heart and eyes aren't cooperating. The soundless screams, the choking heartbeat, the breaking breathe are witnessing my helplessness. And the suffering within is consuming my heart and leaving a scar behind in the name of love.

"Aren't the water will be cold? Try to jump from that side, it looks deeper." Typical Zero's sarcasm.

"Thanks, for the tip." 

"Anytime."

"I can't say that I'm happy to see you, but I guess I'll never get rid of you."

"Ouch!!"

"My life sucks."

"Don't worry, pal. We're soulmates."

"Yeah, that's why it sucks."

"Alright, go ahead and jump. And in case you survived by chance. Then you might spend the rest of your life in hospital. So make sure that you will die."

"Dead is better than getting you back." I'm being rude.

"Even I don't want to see you, at least not like this. I'm here because you're fading again. Listen, Jaan. Life is a gift. Don't waste it. If you fade away then there will be no difference between you and me. You are the purest version of us, just hang in there the storm will pass soon."

"Just leave me alone" I shouted.

"Okay. Okay "

"Go!!!!"

"I can't cause you don't want it."

"Just go away otherwise I'll hit you."

"You can't do that either cause I don't have a physical body." He said and take a pause. And again he said, "It's about dawn, go get your eyes some rest." Then he fades away.

I looked around and see, a very thin layer of fog is covered around the bridge. The birds are started chirping, the city lights are fainting, and the stars are fading away. And I found myself alone in that bridge.

To be continued ....